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Alex's Diary 4

Music: Schiller

It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything, and I finally found the desire and the time to write again. A lot of big things have happened recently and I feel that I need to get it all out on paper.

For starters, I’m living with my sister Angelina now, helping her with some things. I know I’m probably crazy for doing it but at least she despises father as much as I do. Of course, that’s pretty much where our similarities end. We definitely don’t see eye to eye when it comes to the treatment of humans. It’s been a challenge living with her, but not all bad, I guess. I’ve got access to more resources than when I was living on my own. I even got a new car, which hopefully won’t be destroyed anytime in the near future. And another somewhat positive note: while on an information gathering mission for Angelina, I managed to take out one of our other sisters, Natalia. She tried to shoot me, so I crushed her head in, and now world is free from one more vampire.

However, I think my sister is influencing me more than I thought she could. I still think I’m fairly disciplined when it comes to my Hunger, but Angelina has been tempting me a lot, having me go to her club, bringing home extremely attractive men. She keeps pushing me to feed, giving all sorts of reasons. I guess that feeding more often would help me keep up my strength that I’ll need to defend the community. . . . I still have my job at the strip club, and I haven’t taken anyone’s life with my feeding, but sometimes it just feels harder and harder to maintain control. I don’t want to hurt someone. Like maybe Siegfried. . . . .

Siegfried. He finally had his duel with his family’s rival. He didn’t win or lose, but he’s now mortal. He gave up his magical abilities and his faerie birthright and became human. Not sure if he ever had thought about doing it before, but I think Harper’s death influenced his decision.

Yes, Harper is no longer with us. While at the duel, we were ambushed by some Black Court vampires. Harper sacrificed himself to save us. I was never particularly close to him, but I’d like to think that he was my friend, and I do miss him. Just can’t really believe he’s gone. We couldn’t bury him or anything because the White Council came and took his body. We all will mourn him, of course.

Now I don’t know what to do, what to think. I feel kinda numb, I guess. All these changes are weighing on me, and I don’t know how long I can bear the pressure. My mind keeps going back to Harper’s death. . . . and the memory of Siegfried’s kiss. . . . Guess I should listen to that voicemail he left me. . . .

“Thoughts of you by my side are starting to fade. I know that you should be mine so I won’t let go.”

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Rivennlia

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