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Siegfried. Psyche.

North wind! this hurts! Bullets coming at me. Jumping out a tenth story window. Stupid. No vest a thousand goddamn bug bites.

Grenade launcher is gorgeous. Should call it Alex. …Doing all this for her. More than I’d do. for anybobdy.

Why?

What the hell am I thinking? Nothing with my brain. apparently. …No. More to it than that. She makes me feel better. Worse. Both. About everything. About me.

Shit. I love her.

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"Melvin's Journal"

My therapist at the VA told me to do this. She insists that it will help me to get my “thoughts in order” or some bullshit. I told her if I wanted to chronicle things, I’dve been a fucking accountant. Besides, I do enough writing in my goddamned lab! Heh- if she only knew what I’ve actually been up to while my fellow old farts were greasing up with Ben Gay and playing shuffleboard.

Well, here goes:

The shop’s doing well- 4th of July weekend always brings in all those wonderfully patriotic rednecks that live out west looking for more firepower. I finally got to pay off that merc I hired to help me deal with that nest of BCVs in Lake Worth. Trust me, you don’t wanna keep a guy like that waiting for his payment. I don’t think even those high-ups in Edinburgh could do shit about a bullet they didn’t see coming. That’s no way to go-no time to even let loose a death curse. Lucky for me, this Ziggy guy was willing to take part of his payment in “store credit”.
This may be the beginnings of a nice business arrangement.

I’ve also had some dealings with a WCV girl from the local “Family”. She’s not so bad, for a succubus. In fact, her spunky nature reminds me a lot of my Abby. I feel sorry for her.
(well, how about that shit? – that didn’t quite hit me until I wrote it down. Maybe my therapist isn’t so full of shit after all…)

Donnie’s finally getting the hang of running the place without me being there. I frankly don’t know why he puts up having a crabby fuck like me as a boss; he’s either a glutton for punishment, or he’s got a lot more character than I give him credit for. He’s a good kid.

The Green Jeep is not doing so well- that’s partly my fault, and partly the fault of that Ranger from Johnathan Dickinson. I should remember to ask him if he knows some good fishing spots.

The job is, well, the job. The “forces of darkness” have yet to back off the local population, although there seems to be some serious shit cropping up in my backyard as of late. Shit I’ve only heard of until recently.

Well, I didn’t watch my fellow mortals die face-down in the ectoplasm to let them win now.

(I guess I’m supposed to do this “every once in a while”, but we’ll see how that goes. God- I hope nobody ever finds this shit)

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Alex's Diary 2
Music: Evanescence

Good news and bad news, although more bad than good it would seem. The good news is that we managed to take out a Denarian: a nasty monster possessed by a fallen angel. It wasn’t an easy fight, especially trudging around in the sewers, but we killed it with the help of Shiro who is apparently part of a group called the Knights of the Cross. He took his leave of us after the fight, which is just as well since I’m not super-comfortable around the extremely religious. Harper knocked himself out with a crazy-powerful spell and Murdock had to leave after the battle for park ranger duty. Fun times. When we finally tried to actually get home and get some rest we found that our tires were slashed. Terrific. But we managed to get the van and Siegfried’s bike towed and get a cab back to my place. We took some much needed showers and changed.

And this is where the bad news starts.

We caught a news report on TV while at my place stating that a psych professor at my school had committed suicide. There have allegedly been other suicides in the area very recently. Fantastic. Also, I received a letter saying that I apparently didn’t get credit for one of my classes. Awesome. After such riveting news, I decided to take Harper and Siegfried back to the armory since that’s where their vehicles were. Well, that was a big mistake. When we got to the armory we were attacked by two flying invisible beasts. Harper protected with some fast thinking and made a magic circle around us and my car. We made a break for the armory and got inside behind Harper’s wards where we thought we’d be safe. I recall getting a horrible headache and laying down on a cot. But the next thing I remember is waking up in the morning strapped down to the cot with heavy-duty canvas straps. Siegfried is laying on an air mattress near me with a big wound in his back, claiming that I had stabbed him. I honestly don’t remember it happening, and I thought they were joking at first. I hoped that they were joking. But Harper wouldn’t let me go until he checked me out, so he performed what I guess is called a “soulgaze”. I don’t know what he saw but he decided to untie me. I think he concluded that something was forcing my demon to take over. Siegfried was still a little mad at me but I tried to tell him that I don’t remember doing it and that I was sorry. It scared me to find out that my demon was so in control of me. I haven’t been that out of control in a long time. And watching Siegfried laying hurt, unable to move very well, like wounded prey. . . .

I left the armory to straighten out the mess with my class credits. I arrived at school to find the administration in total chaos. Their entire computer system had supposedly crashed a day or so ago and they were still trying to fix it. Great. But while I was at school I decided to try to find out some more info about this psych professor. I discovered that he had an assistant who, by his description, sounded like it could be Justin. But Justin told me before that he doesn’t like psychology. I borrowed someone’s phone (because Harper destroyed mine again) and gave Justin a call. He seemed preoccupied with something and said he was really busy, didn’t have time to talk. We agreed to meet at my place at 6:00 pm. I definitely have some questions for him.

I was pretty Hungry at this point so I headed over to the strip club to see if I could pick up a few hour of work. More bad news. There was a murder in the parking lot of the club. The police were there and asked me a few questions about the victim. He was a regular at the club and I serviced him a number of times in the VIP rooms. I don’t know his name. I never ask for names. Because of this murder, the club is being shut down for a whole week! Not only will I not get money for a week, but I’m going to have find another way for my demon to feed safely. I’ve relied on the club as a primary way of sating my demon since I was 18. But I’ll only be gone from it a week (presumably). I’m sure I can find willing men, but I must exercise extreme caution and control.

I’m home alone now, Hungry and knowing that a young, hormone-driven male will be here in a few hours.

“I can stop the pain if I will it all away. . . .”

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Siegfried's Notepad

Writing this on the notepad since some asshole took all my hardware. Things are coming to a head real quick. Florida just keeps getting more dangerous, and I think it’s because somebody’s working against me- us. This duel coming up, the creatures attacking us lately, and the stuff before that like Alex’s Black Court secret admirer, it can’t all be coincidence. Somebody is working the angles to a razor-thin edge and then trying to cut us apart with them.

Thing is, I’m just a mercenary, and not even a serious player in the family or Winter. Alex is a stripper, and she gets along with her family about as well as I do. Murdock, well, he’s a goddamn nightmare for anything nasty hunting in his territory, but he’s no supernatural heavy hitter and he has no connections to anybody who is as far as I know. The only one who it makes sense to mess with is Harper, a member in good standing with his precious White Council, but who purposely goes looking for trouble with the cops of anything, much less the magical Gestapo?

The only way this makes sense is if they’re after the same three spirits I’m after, and they’ve clearly been picking a fight with us since before I even knew about the three. Maybe they knew Mab and Suki would ask me, so they tried to kill me before I took the job. The duel with the Vulsung guy’s probably just the latest attempt to kill me, but it doesn’t explain the supposed fallen angel that showed up. Shit is about to hit the fan, and the only thing I can think about that actually makes sense to me is gutting Vulsung and getting that axe to work.

Maybe that’s why she doesn’t want to get better acquainted. I think like a viking, she thinks like a hero.

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Alex's Diary
Music: Enigma

I was burned today. By a client. I always kinda figured that it may happen someday. The guy was different than my usual costumers. I can’t remember his face for some reason. I remember he had nice shoes. He asked some odd questions, said that he was trying to get to know me. I try not to get very personal with any of my clients, so I tried to just distract him with my services. But somehow he knew. He knows what I am! I don’t know what gave it away. Maybe he’s clued in. How much he knows about me, I have no idea. He offered me something, a white handkerchief. Said it was just a simple gift. I believed him, but when I took it from him, it burned my hand. I dropped it, but before I could question him about it, he took off, ran out of the club. I only know of one thing that could burn me like that and prevent me from healing myself. I don’t think it was his handkerchief because if it was touching him would have probably hurt me also. So who’s was it? And who is this mysterious guy?

Well, after he left the club [the owner] noticed my burned hand, and sent me home early. He doesn’t like it when his girls are hurt by clients, so he called the police. I met up with Siegfried and Cannach at my place. I explained to them what had happened to me, trying to play it off like it was no big deal, but I’m still kinda freaked out by it. Siegfried insisted that we go back to the club for the handkerchief, and I remembered that the guy had also forgotten his jacket when he left. Even knowing that I wasn’t supposed to go back to the club until my hand is healed, I joined Siegfried and Cannach to obtain the handkerchief and jacket. The police were still there when we arrived, but Siegfried created a distraction involving the girls and free drinks. Cannach obtained the mysterious guy’s credit card info and I slipped into the VIP room where I was with the man. I snagged the jacket and white handkerchief, making sure I didn’t touch the latter, of course. We managed to leave without further incident, and as we headed back to my place I couldn’t help thinking about this guy and our exchange in the VIP room. Never mind that the night before, after the beach incident, we were attacked by a crazy hairless cat-like beast. And that it was killed with an arrow by a mysterious sniper. That kind of stuff I’ve almost come to expect, especially while running with my new friends. But this strange guy and his white handkerchief really bother me. My hand still burns as I write this. As much as I want to know what’s going on, I left the guy’s things in the living room for Siegfried and Cannach to examine, and locked myself in my bedroom to write this. I feel the need to reflect on what happened alone. Maybe I’ll find out more soon.

“Loneliness, I feel loneliness in my room. . . .”

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